Hello, is it me you are looking for? The Attraction of Honor (February 11th Lesson 5)

Yewande Olapade
Feb 15, 2023
6 min read

Winter 2023 Table Talk

Made by love, Made with love, Made for love, Made to love, and surrounded by love. Am I speaking the language of the season? Everything around you is energy, and that is all that is. Your goal is to match the frequency of that energy in the reality you want. When you see people with love all over them, and getting lots of attraction, most likely they are functioning on the frequency of love and exhuming positive vibrations. You broadcast your life on a frequency and people who connect with you, connect through the frequency. When you use the wrong tool and you are not being yourself, you are operating on the wrong frequency and attracting the wrong people. That picture does not get you to your goal. Where am I going with this? Honor is a tool for tuning to the frequency that connect you to the right people. Honor is a tool of attraction!

On this fifth week of the Winter Table Talk, through the lens of Esther and Ruth, we draw lessons on how to attract the right people and keep them in our lives. We continue to connect the dots on the principle of honor as we walk backward. Esther a Hebrew slave became a queen, saved and preserved his people from extermination, got the enemy- Haman punished, and got her uncle Mordecai his job. Wow, I mean wow. How could such a small girl wield such influence.

Let’s back up a bit. In Esther 1, King Ahaswerus who rule over 180 provinces, was married to a different woman- Queen Vashti. This king can party or how do you organize an event going for like 180 days and after that, another 7-day event for all people. Think of food, drinks, luxury, decorations. King Ahaswerus is really given that rich vibes. Queen Vashti at the same time had her own thing going with party for the women. So, the King wanted to flaunt his bride and sent 7 eunuchs to get Vashti.

Without any reason, without delay, Vashti refused! An honorable king was rejected of the presence of his bride. Have you been rejected or shut out by people you honored? Imagine the feeling of getting no valentine gift after spending your treasure to put a smile on your partner's face? How did you feel? Honor is costly therefore, dishonor is painful. And there are certain elements that makes dishonor painful:

Pain of dishonor is severe, when what you receive is not commensurate to what you gave.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when the investment of honor is very high. To whom much is given, much is expected.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when a party lacks the understanding of the principle of honor.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when communication is not clear.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when the request of honor is very specific. In the case of Saul, God asked him to destroy the Amalekites.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when you can’t separate relationship from office.
Pain of dishonor is severe, when the audience of witness to your dishonor is large- Moses at the rock.

Like cause and effect, every dishonor comes with a loss. A loss of relationships, a loss of status, a loss of opportunity, a loss of respect, a loss of productivity. I can go on and on, but for Vashti.

Her behavior was driven by of who she was. Honor is a self-imposed principle, that could sometime be a fruit bearing seed. The fruits of honor do not necessarily come from the ground where it was sown. Honor has spill-over effects. It seems like Vashti was not able to separate relationships from title. Ahaswerus was not only her lover but also a king who ruled over kings from many countries. In the class of king, he is well respected. A dishonor to a king of that class is very painful.

Zooming into Esther, we see several lessons on how to become attractive to people of honor either in your career or at the marketplace. There are several lessons on honor in marriage. Haman, one of the king officials wanted to execute all Hebrews just because Mordecai, a Hebrew slave wouldn’t bow to him. His arrogance led him to erect a gavel to kill Mordecai.

Mordecai upon receiving this bad news was terrified and hurriedly ran to the palace. There are certain protocols observed when approaching royalty. Mordecai, covered with mourning clothes sent a message to Esther through her eunuchs. Go change your attire Esther suggested, but Mordecai refused. There is no pretense in honor. That you value someone doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable around them. Mordecai told Esther the Haman's sad plan and reminded her how God is able to deliver if Esther refused to speak to her husband- King Ahaswerus.

To Esther this was an honorable assignment. If Hebrew had been exterminated, how would the promise of the Messiah be? When you review Hebrew 11, we understand why all these people did their honorable act. Faith is confidence. Honor produces faith, which means, honor indirectly produce confidence to occupy a space. People of faith are people of honor either to process, protocols, and procedures.

Esther engaged the strategic tool of prayer and fasting. On the last day of fasting, she got invited to talk to the king. This was an unusual invitation that could only come from prayer. Then the king questioned her. Esther replied, everything is fine and then invited the king and Haman to a dinner.

Honor listens.
Honorable people dress for the event- Esther wore her royal attire. Your dressing matters.
Honorable people wait to be called- Esther didn't barge into the king's presence.
Honor has a position- Esther positioned herself strategically where the king could see her.
Honor has a language- Esther didn't force the king. If it please the king, let the king come to the banquet I have prepared.
Honor innovative- The first dinner made the king look forward to more.

On the first dinner night, Esther extended another invitation. Here we see Esther, over-supplying honor, what deposed Queen Vashti would not offer in spite of an invitation. In any relationship or space, making people feel essential and important is key to attraction. Honor is a tool of attraction. Honor is action that produces a vibration that makes people connect to you easily. By the time Esther told her concern and who was involved, the king was already enamored and Haman was in deep trouble. The enemy of Hebrew was destroyed because Honor brings favor.

Read slides for more…

Who is she? She came into the room, and everywhere lights up! That is what the attitude of honor gets you. You become attractive easily because of how people feel around you.

Family, meet another woman who spent the currency of honor- Ruth.

Ruth married to the son of Naomi, moved from her country home with her mother-in-law. This honorable act made her popular in the community. Imagine how Naomi would have felt walking all by herself, into a community she left during a famine, with her husband and her two boys, only to lose all the men in her life in a strange land.

An honorable woman is hardworking. Ruth decided to engage in labor and found herself in the field of a rich old, lover man- Boaz. Boaz himself was very honorable, for honor attracts honor. Walking into his own field in Ruth 2, Boaz greeted everyone, asked the right question, instructed that Ruth be protected and acknowledge the honor Ruth gave her mother-in-law. Boaz generously extend grace to Ruth because of the seed of honor she sowed. Honor is a seed and its fruits spill everywhere. Some of the honor you are enjoying results from the seed of honor from your parent or grandparents. Honor is trans-generational.

Naomi told Ruth it is time for me to find you a suitable home. ´You do not need to be liked but you should want to be liked. Your accomplishment in life depends on Who likes you. From Ruth 3:1, Naomi gave some specific instructions that every human trying to attract something could leverage:

Looking good, smelling good is honorable.
There is honor in authenticity. Ruth answered Naomi’s question without hiding anything.
There is honor in being unpredictable.
There is honor in following instruction.
There is honor in respecting timing.
There is honor in quietness.
There is honor in service. Serving is not subservient.
There is honor in asking.
Every element of romance highlight honor. Ruth laid at Boaz's feet.

Honor obeys instructions. Honor respect policies. Honor appreciate advice. Honor values people and their words. Ruth did exactly as instructed by Naomi. She played a few cards that are useful for marriage: