The Currency of Honor- Hello Family, Welcome Dishonor, Bye-bye Respect! (January 28th Lesson 3)

Winter 2023 Table Talk

23 chromosomes from each parents produced the unique YOU. Without the 23 chromosomes from those two unique individuals that you call mom and dad, there won’t be YOU or maybe I should say the YOU that is produced is not the YOU that we have now – Psalms 139:13. Many things we don’t choose in life- time to be born, what country to be born, what family to come from, our parents, and so on.

You are a unique entity, created for a unique purpose and specific assignments/calling, which comes with some exact blessings and impacts and with YOU placed within a Family. A family is a group of persons united by the ties of marriage, blood, or adoption, constituting a single household and interacting with each other in their respective social positions, usually those of spouses, parents, children, and siblings. While your blessings, destination and your name are all unique, your wholesomeness come from leveraging the strengths of your family.

Within your family you learn values, ethos, culture- from how to talk, to how to eat, and how to interact with your community. Therefore, a dishonorable family produces a dishonorable child, and that child reproduces its own kind. It is a vicious cycle.

As a parent your goal:

• Is to raise kids that can easily adjust to their community.

• Is to raise kids that can be likable by adults.

• Raising kids is costly. Every work associated with raising a kid adds an extra strand of white hair to their parents'.

Hi Adam’s family, Welcome Disrespect, Bye-bye Honor!

Family is the most beautiful gift to a newborn, yet the family unit is the place filled with the most dramatic, selfish, and dishonorable people. A family is a place to nurture destiny. Think of family as the manufacturing plants with two giants engine and other parts and different elements producing a unique product. If those two machine packs up or choose to be selfish, no product is produced. Think of the two machines as your parent. Now turn to the other parts- the other engine responsible for cutting, packaging, and branding. Without all those components a unique quality product can’t be produced or marketed.

Why do family dishonor the most?

Unfortunately, family is the place where we find high level disrespect and dishonor. As business owner, family are the first to invoke the family discount- that is why it is even a thing. Family is the first to identify and sow confidence around your gift and quickly add the seed of insecurity by telling you how and where you are missing something. Our closest relationships know we are always there.

Honoring Parents

Last week we talked about honoring God and honoring self. Honoring your parents is crucial because that is how you appreciate God for creating YOU. This is so important that it was part of God’s ten rule- honor your father and your mother so your days can be long -Exodus 20:12. Just like every human, parents have flaws and imperfections. But we still honor because Honor is based on who you are. Despite Saul’s misbehavior, David still honored- 1 Samuel 24:5.

Obedience is what you give your parent when you are under their roof. Honor is what you give parent when you are an adult. The currency of honor to spend on parent include Time, Tongue, Treasure, Temperaments, and Talents. It is a blessing when your children value your opinion and want to be with you and hear your opinion, positions, and views. Honor your parent by intentionally giving them joy. Honor parent through your provision. Even in pain, Jesus took care of Mary- John 19:26. Honor your parent in your tone and volume of your voice during conversation. Let me give you a cheat sheet! for moms, you can’t go wrong with money and lots of hugs and kisses. For dads, you can’t go wrong with respect and speaking well of them, particularly in the public (Check meeting slides below for the consequence of dishonoring).

Honoring your parent invoke the generational blessing nested in them. Honoring parent bring fruitfulness and remove delays.

Honoring family

Now let’s turn to the other moving parts of that manufacturing plant- your siblings, sisters, brothers, cousins, and other blood relations. They all come with their uniqueness and that uniqueness can be very dramatic and tense. So tense that some would change their last name, so crazy that many wouldn’t want to visit home during thanksgiving or Christmas or any event, because of what a family member had said or wouldn’t say, or what a cousins would say or the failures of the parenting of uncles and aunts. Oh family, oh family, so beautiful, yet so crazy. Oh family, Oh family, so energetic, yet so dramatic. Oh family, oh family, so loving, yet so unlikable. In honoring family, forgiveness and forbearance is key. Honor respect other’s view. Honoring is easier when you understand other’s people’s place, purpose, role, sacrifice, pains, and battles over your life.

When brothers fight….

Turning to our stories for this week in Genesis 12:18. God had called Abraham. This calling was specific for Abraham, and it comes with a blessing, promises, and also pains that impact Abraham and his generation- the Israelites. No Destination. no GPS, a man of faith stepped out on a journey to destiny. Life is a journey and the meaning of life comes from the steps, the turns, and the detour in the journey. Abraham took Lot with him. While your purpose and blessing are unique, as those blessings flow, let it spill over on your family. A one-man rich family is a poor generation. Invest in your family. Value your family. Celebrate your family. Be available.

Abraham took his cousin Lot. As Abraham moved, Lot moved. As Abraham progressed, Lot progressed. As Abraham increased, Lot increased. The move and the increase of an individual in a family could be transgenerational, if well managed, well appreciated, well celebrated, and well received. Enough with family competition.

At some point, the increase in Lot and Abraham riches was unmanageable and caused quarrel between their workers. Abraham asked Lot to choose his place. Lot looked, Lot saw, and Lot chose for Himself. He selfishly and foolishly ignores the grace that brings the blessings, only to pitch his tent in the wrong location and lost everything.

Here are few lessons on determining people of honor from Abraham and Lot relationship: Genesis 12-13

• Movement- To those who understand your geography and path, and direction. Show honor. Abraham seems to know the right and left but gave Lot his younger the opportunity to choose first. Sometimes being the first mover in a dynamic game has some costs.

• Impact- To those whose grace spills on you, show honor. Let me be bold to say, keep them very close.

• Season- To those whose seasons coincide with yours, either positively or negatively, show honor.

When sisters fight …..

Sara- Abraham’s wife had been without a child and so she proposed that Abraham have relationship with Hagar- Sara’s slave, so she could have babies through her. Nothing strange here. In the ancient times, older woman upon reaching menopause would marry their family to their husband. This is not an endorsement for polygamy.

Anyway, as soon as Hagar saw, that she was pregnant, arrogance came, pride came, and then disagreement and fights- their younger sisters followed. The bible said as soon as she knew that she was pregnant, she began to despise her Madam. Be careful how the blessing you received change you and how you treat family including the family of God.

Here are few lessons on Determining people of honor from Sarah and Hagar relationship: Genesis 16:4-7

• And he said, Hagar, slave of Sarai- People with a title in your life deserves honor- Mom, dad, uncle, master, prayer partner, burden bearer, manager, vision supporter, vision helper, friend...

• Where are you coming from? - People who have fueled some energy on your starting of a particular journey or serve as vehicle, deserve honor particularly in that area

• Where are you going? - People who will point you in the right direction along life’s journey deserves honor

• Go back- Anyone you would need to go back to for something of value or ask questions deserves honor

Click for Meeting Slides

The Currency of Honor_Lesson3.pptx

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